Breaking the Stigma: How Therapy Helped Me Become My Own Hero

For far too long, there has been a stigma around seeing a therapist. Some people believe that seeking help makes you “weak.” I’ve heard it all: “I don’t need anyone messing with my psyche.” Or, “Therapy is for whiny, sissy babies.” Seriously? Let’s talk about that.

I’m 63 years old, and the past two years have been the most transformative of my life. That’s saying something, considering how much has piled onto me over the years—trauma, pain, struggles I never fully addressed. But here’s the thing: I’ve been in therapy for over half my life.

I’ve faced childhood trauma, ADHD/ADD, and abusive relationships. I spent years with an unhealthy self-image, never truly developing confidence or self-worth. Back when I was in school, ADHD wasn’t something people talked about—certainly not something that got diagnosed. I was just the “daydreamer,” the one who “wasn’t applying herself.” I struggled in ways no one understood.

Like an onion, I had layers upon layers of unresolved pain. Yet, deep down, I always knew I was kind, compassionate, and giving. Unfortunately, I gave too much to the wrong people—people who took everything I offered and left me empty. I kept making bad choices, getting caught in a cycle that felt like a downward spiral straight into hell.

At some point, I had to stop and ask myself: Why? Why was I choosing people who didn’t value me? Why was I repeating the same painful patterns?

That’s where therapy came in. And let me tell you—it’s not easy.

The Hard Truth About Therapy

First, you have to find a therapist you truly connect with. That’s crucial. Finding a good therapist is a lot like dating—if you don’t find someone you mesh with, try another one. Don’t settle. Remember: they work for you. Therapy is a deeply personal journey, and the right therapist can make all the difference.

A good therapist doesn’t judge. They don’t shame you for your past or make you feel like a burden. Instead, they create a safe space where you can be vulnerable without fear. But here’s the thing—therapy isn’t just venting. It’s work. It’s sitting across from someone, feeling completely exposed, holding your heart out on a platter. It’s crying ugly tears, confronting painful truths, and breaking down before you can build yourself back up. If therapy feels comfortable all the time, you’re probably not being honest with yourself or your therapist.

But if you’re okay with just getting by, then who am I to say otherwise? At the end of the day, you get out of therapy what you put into it.

For the past two years, I have put in the work. And it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

The Power of the Right Therapist

I was lucky to find Lily. She wasn’t just a therapist—she was a lifeline. From the moment we connected, she created a space where I felt safe enough to unravel the deepest, most painful parts of myself. She guided me through the darkness, not by saving me, but by giving me the tools to save myself.

I once told her, “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” And she responded, “You did all the work.”

Maybe she’s right. But I wouldn’t have had the courage to do that work without her.

When I started therapy with Lily, I was like a stray cat—lost, scared, unsure if I could trust someone with my pain. But she scooped me up, wrapped my heart in warmth, kindness, and compassion, and fed me hope. Little by little, I found the strength to pick myself up, dust myself off, and fight for the life I deserved.

I became my own hero.

What’s Next?

Lily is moving on to help others in a different city, and soon, I’ll have my last session with her. It’s bittersweet, but I know this isn’t the end of my journey—it’s the beginning of a new chapter. Now, it’s my turn to spread my wings and navigate life with all the tools Lily gave me. She helped me find my strength, but the real test is using it on my own.

Will I see another therapist? Probably. There’s always more to work on, and healing is a lifelong journey. Will I have the same connection? Hard to say. When you’ve found something that feels like perfection, it’s hard to imagine anything better.

But I’ve learned something invaluable: therapists don’t fix you. They help you fix yourself.

To Those Who Still Doubt Therapy…

If you’ve ever dismissed therapy as unnecessary, weak, or indulgent, I urge you to reconsider. But know this—it only works if you’re willing to be honest, to sit in the discomfort, and to do the hard work. No one is coming to rescue you. You have to be your own hero.

And trust me, you’re worth saving.