Have you ever found yourself wondering why certain things in life didn’t go the way you hoped? Or maybe you’ve asked yourself why some people show up in your life just long enough to change everything—only to leave again?
As I get older, I’ve come to see that life has its own rhythm. It ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes. There are days filled with joy, days heavy with heartache, and plenty that simply drift somewhere in between.
Sometimes, I catch myself dreaming about something I just know will happen. I get my heart set on it—whether it’s a relationship, a long-held goal, or a new adventure—only to watch it slip through my fingers. And when it does, I can’t help but feel shortchanged. It’s hard not to feel a little bruised by disappointment.
Especially in matters of the heart.
When I meet someone who sparks something inside me—someone I could truly see myself sharing the rest of my days with—it feels like a rare and beautiful gift. But then, life has a way of stepping in with its own plans. Circumstances shift, timing falls apart, or unexpected challenges get in the way. Suddenly, what seemed so promising turns into another chapter that wasn’t meant to last.
And here’s the truth I’ve been slowly learning to accept:
The older I get, the more I realize that I may very well spend the rest of my life alone.
That’s a hard sentence to write, but it’s honest.
It’s not that I’ve given up on love. It’s just that opening myself up—truly opening up—to someone new takes a kind of courage and energy that feels harder to summon these days. The walls I’ve built to protect myself aren’t as easy to dismantle as they once were. And the deeper the heart has been bruised, the more tender it becomes.
But even in that realization, there’s a strange kind of peace, too.
Because with every passing year, I understand myself better. I’ve learned how to enjoy my own company. I’ve discovered quiet joys in small things—morning coffee, a walk at sunset, a good knitting or cross stitching project, the comfort of a familiar song. And I’ve come to see that love doesn’t always have to arrive in the form of another person. Sometimes, it looks like friendships, passions, memories, or simply the soft acceptance of where we are in this moment.
Maybe that’s not the ending I once pictured—but maybe it’s not an ending at all.
Maybe it’s just another beginning.
I’d love to hear from you.
If you’ve found yourself walking a similar path—wondering about the what ifs and could have beens—please know you’re not alone. So many of us, especially in this season of life, are learning how to hold space for both hope and acceptance.
We may not have the love story we once imagined, but we can still write beautiful chapters filled with meaning, growth, and quiet joys.
Here’s to finding comfort in our own company, embracing the life we do have, and leaving just enough room for a little unexpected magic—whatever form it may take.
Have you experienced something similar?
How have you made peace with the twists and turns of your journey?
I invite you to share your story in the comments below—because there’s healing in knowing we’re walking this road together.
Molly's Not-So-Secret Diary 